Headcovering - the blessings of my 3 week journey

I wanted to update those of you who have been following my headcovering journey.
There are many people who have been affected by this 3 week journey...
People who have listened, agreed, prayed, and encouraged me in following my conviction; others who listened, prayed, questioned, disagreed, and cried over my conviction; and still others who were somewhere in between.
To ALL of you: Thank you.

To those who encouraged me and validated I was not the only one who had these convictions - It is because of you I still have my sanity.
To those who disagreed with me - You challenged my courage and made me cling to Jesus all the more.

ALL of you showed me unconditional love and I thank you.

The decision:
Many of you know that a week ago, under my husband's leading, it was decided we would pray together nightly for a week and trust God to lead his heart in regards to me covering my head.

Early in the week I was optimistic/hopeful that the Lord would give a divine revelation to my husband. You know something like some disturbing nightmare where he would see demons chasing me and they would be unable to touch me because I was marked. :) Well, although that would have been a good story that's not the way God worked. I had planned to fast both Tuesday and Wednesday; not praying for the answer I wanted but whatever God desired. Although my convictions on headcovering being of significance had not changed I knew that God works in mysterious ways and He may choose not to put the conviction on my husband's heart for whatever reason; that maybe He had accomplished all that He desired already through this.
Wednesday morning I felt a great peace (I know it was from all of your prayers) and after blow drying my hair I didn't feel as compelled to put the headcovering on... I did put it on but I sensed God might be preparing me for a "no" answer from my husband. Later that morning I felt God released me from the fasting. I just had a sense the decision had been made. I sensed the answer was a no and that was okay. Now anyone who has followed my journey knows it is with passion and courage I have covered my head so I knew it was the Holy Spirit who was allowing that peace that passes understanding.
I didn't tell my husband this yesterday since his decision was to be given today.

Today with loving tears my husband said he was sorry... that he had prayed about it (I know he was open to the Lord) and he hadn't felt any change of conviction on the issue. He was very affirming in his love for me and concerned about hurting me. I told him about how yesterday I had felt released from fasting before lunch and sensed that the decision had been made. He found that very interesting as it was yesterday (at work) before lunch that he felt the decision to say no confirmed.

I know this decision will sadden some who share in my conviction and relieve others who did not understand! As far as how I am doing. I am doing well. I truly am not in turmoil. Why? Because I trust my God without question. A friend asked me today how I felt and the word that came with tears was "Blessed". I feel blessed because God answered my prayer; the heart cry that started this blog journey.

My plea a few months ago was that I would find my identity in Christ alone and not be focused on what other's thought of me; That I wanted to not be concerned with the affirmations of others but willing to give up, do anything the Lord wanted me to. I wanted to run after Him with my whole heart. Well, I certainly never would have even thought of the idea of Him putting the convictions on my heart he did in order to do that! It blows me away how He so cleverly and perfectly answered my prayer through this 3 week journey! All I've had to go on for the last 3 weeks was trusting what God had spoke to my heart. I clung to Jesus, delighted in Him, and found my identity in Him alone. He gave me courage to be obedient and faithful, to do what He had asked of me in the face of great opposition. The Lord knows it was a spiritual victory!

Besides answering my plea He did so much more!
*The Lord used our Pastor as an instrument to reveal to my husband that he needed to step up in being the spiritual leader of our home and showed me that I was holding onto the reigns more than I realized. I have already seen a transformation begin to occur in our home from this.
*It was ever apparent, through this time, what an incredible miracle God did do in our marriage back in October (that will be another long post, another time!) Satan could have tried to use my husband and I's differing opinions on headcovering to tear us apart but instead God used it to knit our hearts together even more and bring himself Glory.
*God used it to challenge me and others to search out His word. During the past 3 weeks God has given me a love and thirst for His word like I have never known.
*I saw the blessing of how the Holy Spirit led different individuals to be ministering angels to me... from a friend he brought to my door to pray with me, another friend who listened when I needed to cry on someone, from a sister-in-law who saw my heart, to sister's in Christ from all over the U.S. and beyond who sent me timely notes of encouragement, shared scripture with me and lifted me up in prayer... and on and on!
*I saw how God used this journey to help me be an encouragement and inspiration to Christian women throughout the world who cover their head and felt misunderstood; they realized they were not alone! They are special to me.
*I learned the depth of love I share with my parents (I love you dearly), and long time friends who did not understand, challenged me out of love and concern, and kept on loving me.
*I found me! I learned I am unique, and that I have many yearnings and convictions of my heart that don't fit in with much of mainstream Christianity AND that it's okay!

To some who do not know my heart and the details of this journey they will think I am a confused soul but I know I have found my identity in my Lord Jesus. The headcovering journey has been a blessing and I will always be a headcovering lady at heart.

Thanks for coming on my journey!
Blessings,
Joanna "Momma Jo"
Psalm 139:7-13, 16-18, 23-24
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."