A woman of God is disciplined

I want to become a woman who is not remembered for her appearance or her talents; I want to be remembered as a woman of God; a woman after God's heart.

When I honestly look at myself, knowing all the faults and sins that others do not see, I realize how far I have yet to climb!
One trait I've been seeing stand out in my Bible that I know I need to work on is self-discipline!
I was thinking about the Proverbs 31 woman:
Proverbs 31:15 "She gets up while it is still dark.."
That part of the verse alone convicts me! It sure is hard to get up before dark, in the dead of winter in Northern Indiana! Oh yes, I set my alarm almost nightly to get up before dark, before the children arise, to spend time with my Saviour. The problem is more often than not I turn off the alarm and snuggle back under the covers. Oh yes, I usually do say some prayers under those covers and I don't actually go back to sleep but all the same I find myself convicted. Why? Despite that I had good intentions in setting my alarm, good intentions that I fail to fulfill due to lack of self-discipline, don't bring glory to God!

on to verse 17: "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." Ouch. This is something I have worked on and overall am doing better at but I do have weeks where I slip up terribly. Rather than being faithful in fulfilling the tasks of the day that should be my priority, I too often do the things I want to do instead. I then find myself doing one of two things: 1)either crazily going about the house at 4:00 P.M. (before my husband gets home) to get all the things done that I should have already done - Mommy running around like a chicken with her head cut off does not bring about an environment of order and serenity for her dear children; OR 2) I don't get the tasks done at all that day and then I am upset with my self for not being disciplined. My disappointment in myself makes me irritable and then once again I am not overflowing with sweetness! Besides that, in my frustration with myself I try to bring myself consolation by sitting down and eating a 1/4 bag of chocolate chips! LOL, I sure do feel better for a couple minutes but then I'm more disgusted with myself for my additional lack of self control! Hmmm... wouldn't it have been much more productive to have spent those minutes repenting and getting some tasks done rather than indulging in unhealthy gluttony!

If you can't tell, I struggle with self-discipline! Most who have none me a long time (other than my husband) would probably be surprised by this. Most know me as having been a long distance runner who completed the Chicago Marathon in 2007 (the first year it was ever officially called due to extreme heat). Surely that makes me a person of discipline right? Ha... It really doesn't. Oh sure I train for a 3 months for a particular race but the day after whatever race I trained for is over I don't run or exercise at all again for several months!
I tend to be extreme. I need balance and self-discipline!

I've realized an important way to help me be disciplined is to (with God's help) look at my weaknesses and use one struggle to help me overcome another.
For example:

1) I struggle in consistently spending quality time with God - time when it's quiet and I can listen to HIS voice!
2) I struggle with the weakness of spending too much time on the computer.
3) I struggle with not managing my time well.
4) I struggle with not exercising AT ALL during the winter months.

How I am using one struggle to help me overcome others:
I have now committed (with my husband to hold me accountable) to only getting on the computer Monday, Wednesdays, and Saturdays; NEVER in the morning (as this is homeschooling time and the time of day for me to complete my daily household tasks) AND I can only get on the computer on those 3 days if I have done the following:
1) actually got up and spent time with the Lord when my alarm went off
2) already completed homeschooling and my daily household tasks
3) already completed exercising on the treadmill for a specified amount of time

Since I have found a love for journaling/writing (not only on this blog but for other sites too) and I know I will not give up that time, I am motivated to get those other things done. My hope is that someday out of the habit I will have established I will have victory over those weaknesses! But, until it becomes a trait instilled in me, this seems to be working!

In closing, Today I came across a great article at Daily Scripture Blog.com taken from Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life Daily devotional, titled "How to develop self-discipline"
"... People with self-discipline master their moods. They live by their commitments, not their emotions. People who do the right thing even when they don’t feel like it accomplish most of what gets done in the world! “A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls” (Proverbs 25:28 LB)." Click here to read the entire article.

Do you want to be a disciplined woman of God? I sure do! When I'm not disciplined I definitely don't feel strong in the Lord; I feel like a city with broken down walls!