HE's still workin on me...

Pride. It appears I'm full of it.

In the last couple months I'd prayed different times to the LORD as to why I get so rattled when someone disagrees with a conviction of mine. I knew I needed to sort through why I wanted so much for others to agree with me and why I felt the need to prove my self and my convictions. I justified my strong internal desire to prove my point as being natural - I mean, of course if you feel very strongly about something and feel it has great validity why wouldn't you want to help open others eyes to the light! HA. See any pride there?

The LORD is showing me that despite that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be understood that much of my feelings are stirred up because a big root of pride is involved.

You know who the LORD used to get my attention on this? Michelle Duggar.
We love the Duggars. We own the Duggar dvds and every Sunday evening we have family night and eat popcorn and watch an episode of the Duggars on dvd.

Recently in watching I became captivated by how Michelle responds when put on the spot by interviewers on subjects that are different than how she and Jim Bob have chosen to lead their family. She always responds saying something positive about the other person with the different point of view. There is no hint of condemnation or criticism. I began to contemplate this. Obviously, for them to lead their family in a way that is very contrary to the world, and sets them apart in many ways in the majority of Christian circles too, they have to be very strong in their convictions. They obviously firmly believe that they are doing what is best for their family.

So how is it that Michelle has such a different response than me? The difference is she is full of humility and grace. I don't believe she has any turmoil inside if others disagree. She isn't on a mission to prove she is right, nor is Jim Bob. They simply believe what they believe and live it. I am in awe of that. My prayer for this year is that the LORD will get me to that place. That HE will help me to simply rest in HIM and be at peace with who HE has made me to be. That HE will open my eyes to what all causes my unrest & strip me of any remaining roots of pride.

Thanks to Michelle Duggar for being a wonderful testimony to me of Christian humility and grace. Thanks for listening to the Holy Spirit but not trying to be the Holy Spirit for others.

I know I'm making baby steps by HIS grace.
I'm reminded of the childhood song... "HE's still workin on me. To make me what I ought to be. It took HIM just a week to make the moon and stars, the sun and the Earth, and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient HE must be because HE's still workin on me!"

Joanna