Wearing a headcovering in public for the first time

"Though none go with me, still I will follow
Though none go with me, still I will follow
Though none go with me, still I will follow
No turning back, no turning back."

I find myself singing this song again today. I've got to say this weekend wasn't easy emotionally. Making the step to be obedient to the call God put on my heart to wear a headcovering wasn't difficult at home; It brought me great joy. But, I will fully admit the first times of being around family and also heading out the door to Church were NOT easy.
Did I doubt the value in what I was doing? NO
Did I doubt that God had spoke to me on this? NO
Did I regret I was doing it? NO
Did that make it easy? No

I woke up so early this morning crying and praying... Wishing people understood, questioning if my husband was embarrassed by what I was doing, questioning if my family believed it was something God had asked of me.

I will fully admit I cried a lot. It made me realize HOW MUCH I have looked to others for their affirmation. That in being obedient to what God asked of me it made me different; being different was difficult for me. But, what is it I asked of God a few months ago? I asked Him that I would find my identity in HIM alone! In sensing others were questioning me, rather than looking at me admirably, I had to rely 100% on the Lord; I had to cry out to HIM for strength and peace; I had to lean wholly on HIM and find my identity in HIM!!

I'm reminded of the verse today:

2 Corinthians 12:9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

After this time of crying and praying. I talked to my husband; Asking him if he was embarrassed and did he believed this was something God had asked of me and not just something weird I was doing.

God really used that conversation to be of GREAT encouragement to me. My husband said he was not embarrassed, just uncomfortable at first around other people.. But, that he knew he would get use to it. That YES, he did believe that God had asked me to do this.... that no one in their right mind would have the courage to do this unless it was something God had put on their heart. (He's right about it taking a lot of courage!) He also said, "I thought you looked really pretty yesterday" - referring to when I was ready to go to church. I tell you, I balled. That was what I needed to hear from him right then. God knew at that moment I needed to sense that my husband would support me and go along side me in this; even if he doesn't totally understand AND that he saw me as beautiful even when I looked different than everyone around me.

God is faithful. When the verse I quoted above came to my mind I looked up the definition of infirmities. The definintion was: weak, frail, shaky, insecure
I felt frail, weak and shaky this weekend, but HIS grace was sufficient for me in my time of weakness.

Pressing on,
Momma Jo