I will admit the last couple weeks I have been a little down emotionally. As I continue to have new things upon my heart and I search them out in the Bible I feel more assured in what I believe and more passionate about it! That is a wonderful blessing! It's a strange feeling and a new place in life for me though when I realize the perspective and convictions that I hold strongly are in agreement with people that others have labeled as "extreme" and "unbalanced" aka far right conservative. It's hard when you know Christians around you, that you love, see some things completely different than you. It also seems that when you have very conservative views it is automatically associated with legalism. It seems many Christians are not open to the idea that a person with a "conservative perspective" is getting those convictions from the Bible. Instead people fear or indicate you are swallowing some false doctrine.
Once again though I guess this still answers my prayer that I find my identity in the Lord alone! For when you know you are somewhat of a minority you feel a little out of place in the world (okay a lot). If this is how the Lord keeps me crying out to Him than I want to consider it a blessing.
The following is something I wrote this past week that expresses what I was feeling a few nights ago:
just the way I am.
You know the things You have put on my heart
that others do not understand.
Lord, I do know there ARE many
whose hearts are bent like mine
but right here, around me,
one is very hard to find.
Lord, in my humanness it pains me
to feel misunderstood.
Emotion and anger overtake me
Help me react the way I should.
Lord, please send a friend my way
who sees things through my eyes;
who doesn't see me as unbalanced
or out of my mind.
Lord, I prayed I'd find myself in You
and Your answer has been a blessing to receive.
For my faith has been awakened
and I am passionate in what I believe.
Lord, the part I did not expect
was that the person that I'd find
Others would think extreme
and see my views as out of line.
But, if being "extreme" is equated with
being sold out to my Maker,
than Lord, help me to accept it
and not wince at the label.
If being "unbalanced" is striving to
obey Your Word with my all,
then I'll keep pressing on arms extended,
holding on to You I know I will not fall.
copyright 2009 Joanna W.
The following song I am singing out to my Lord today.
He hears... He's told me who I am... I am HIS!
(scroll to the bottom of the blog and turn off the music player
before playing this video)
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We lived without a computer for a year while my husband was training for a position and I'm realizing how dependant I've become on mine. I needed to read this post today. I imagine we have more than these things in common (I have the same background.)
ReplyDelete~ Wendy
I understand everything you're saying. I'm very grateful to have found women who think like I do, even if we are miles apart. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is my heart cry!! It is so very lonely being without a female that is living the same reality. And instead Christians label you. I can't wait for heaven. In the post before the last I put up, I mentioned briefly how people of our religion are supposedly known for modesty yet the reality is that I feel out of place among my fellow Sisters in the church.
ReplyDeletethank you for your blog...I too am lonely for like minded women friends,unfortunatly when I try to share how The Word has been changing me I get comments "are you ok?" ,"oh youve been reading the bible", "you are getting weird", and "thats legalistic" I know I have only God to answer to and pray daily for continued strength ...
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and know what you mean.Leigh said what I would have said only better.May God be with you, bless and keep you. Hugs
ReplyDelete