Throwing off that which hinders... blogging hinders

It is with a little trepidation I write this post. I have felt stirred for a few weeks that I should possibly give up blogging. Not because I no longer enjoy it, not because I no longer care to share my journey but because it is no longer fulfilling the purpose that spurred it's origination.

The purpose of this blog was to journal my journey of running after Jesus. In the beginning stages it did that and was of great blessing. It was good for me to get my thoughts compiled and share my heart. It was a blessing to hear from other women who could relate to things I was sharing and to have them also share their heart. But, the problem lies in that now the blog has become something that actually is hindering my running after Jesus! I have mentioned before that I struggle with finding balance. Although the internet and blogging has been a blessing it has also been the biggest area that satan has used to hinder me from being the wife, mom, and keeper of the home that God is calling me to be! God calls us to do everything unto Him; to do everything with joy and excellence (Collosians 3:23&24) The fact of the matter is my time spent on the internet hinders me from being an excellent wife, mother, and keeper of the home!

Different women have left comments saying what a blessing and ministry this blog is. Thank you for your heartfelt words. I am thankful for any way God has used this blog to minister. I will admit that my human pride makes me not want to give the blog up partially because of those comments. Naturally, it is affirming when someone expresses appreciation for one's writing and finds it a blessing. However, I keep hearing that still, small voice say "Your family is where I've called you to minister first". Even if my blog is touching the lives of other women IF I am not doing what God has called me to do in my own home it means nothing!

God has blessed me with a wonderful husband that loves the Lord and is seeking to honor Him. He has blessed me with three beautiful daughters that were each an answer to prayer. He has given me the blessing of staying home and raising up my children for Him and time to commit to being a help to my husband. If I fail in the responsibility of pouring my heart into being the help to my husband and the godly mother to my children that God has called me to be I will have deeply failed.
I want the following to be true of me: (Proverbs 31:26-31)

"She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

I also have been reminded of the verse:
"When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise."
Proverbs 10:19

There are many things I have boldly shared without hesitation on this blog. I have believed greatly in being transparent and although there is value to that there is also great value in not being a person of many words! People are influenced by what we say and we (I) need to be more mindful of that. Life is an ongoing journey; I will learn something tomorrow that opens my eyes up to something that I did not see fully before when I was running my mouth. I am a very imperfect sinner, just like you! In being imperfect I am certain there are things I have written that were tainted; tainted by my humanness...things in hindsight that I will likely see differently.

On a final note I want to warn you beginner stay home Mom bloggers of the dangers of the internet and blogging:

1) I believe satan has launched an attack via the internet on us stay home Mommas! He is not pleased that we are at home with our little ones, watching over our home. So, if he can get our focus off our children and our home even while we are sitting in it, he realizes he is winning a battle. Don't let him win the battle for your home. Be very careful to not get sucked into the online world. It can start out innocent and become an addiction, an escape that steals precious time!

2) There is a growing tendency for people to seek out "wisdom" from other bloggers rather than going to the Word of God. I have had different women ask me my opinion on things and now have feared what if they made a decision one way or another by my influence. There is nothing wrong with wanting someones opinion but there is danger in basing your own decisions on someone elses thoughts and perspective rather than seeking direction from the Lord through prayer and reading of the Word of God yourself and looking to your husband for leadership and guidance.

I want to seek to honor and obey the Lord with my whole heart and because blogging has become a stumbling block for me (and my words might cause someone else to stumble) it's got to go! I want to run unhindered!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1 & 2

Blessings to each of you. May you press on towards Jesus. May you know His forgiveness, His love, His joy, His faithfulness, His plan for you! You are valuable, made in the image of God. Seek to honor Him in every area of your life.

PS If you would like to leave a comment in regards to this final post feel free to. I will read any final comments. Thanks for coming along on my journey.

In Christ,