Looking back and looking forward

What an interesting past year it has been. I was realizing today that it was a year ago this week that my headcovering journey began. The year was a significant one for me, truly like no other. The LORD put convictions on my heart that set me apart from main stream Christianity and I tried to sort through that this year. Saw some things that troubled me in others reactions and felt some anger towards those who looked at me as being "extreme" or "unhealthy" spiritually because of my decision to be obedient to the convictions on my heart. I dealt with the reality that it is often frowned upon in main stream Christian circles to go against the grain of what is considered normal. I learned the danger of legalism and how easy it is to put my fences on others and not to go down that road again. I learned what I believe. I put my feet to my convictions even when it was frightening and difficult and I felt alone. I leaned harder on the Lord than ever and HE was faithful. I wavered and struggled between wanting to be looked at as acceptable to Christians I respected and loved, who did not agree with me, yet also ever wanting to be true to my heart and what the Lord had put on it. Vacillated between agreeing with them that I'd become unbalanced and lost perspective and feeling as strong as ever that I had no desire to be "normal" or "balanced" if it meant having unrest in my heart. I tried to find the balance between things on my heart and respecting the leadership of my husband. It's a fine line and hard to find at times. I threw off the thinking of the world and I saw myself in a more realer sense than ever before this year. Yet at times I felt very confused and wanted to forsake all the convictions on my heart. Thankful that despite it all the LORD never forsake me. Phew... what a year!!

Dear Lord, please help me to be faithful to YOU and what YOU desire of me in this new year. Give me grace, wisdom, restraint, patience, and perseverance when I need it. Help me to know when to speak and when to be quiet. May I seek YOU daily and come to know more of YOU and what YOU desire of me. Please use me despite all my faults and weaknesses. I love YOU LORD.

Your child,
Joanna