Real: to be authentic, genuine, not pretended, sincere
Transparent: to be open, free of deceit
How easy it is to put on a front. We want others to think we've got it all together. I was thinking about why that is. I think it's because we want others to think highly of us, to admire us and respect us. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be respected and thought highly of; but covering up doesn't achieve it.
I remember the first time I spoke at a MOPS meeting and shared with 30 some women a struggle I had been through and what God had taught me through it. I have never thought of myself as a public speaker. I was so nervous about getting up in front of those women. I was so nervous because I knew I was going to pour out my heart and show my weaknesses. In doing that there was the fear of:
What people will think? What if they can't relate to my struggles? What if I make them uncomfortable around me? What if they thought I was further along in my walk with the Lord than I actually was?
I think it all boils down to the fear of rejection. It's easier for us as women to put on a front and look like we have it all together. We fear that if we show our weakness people might look down on us or misunderstand us.
At that MOPS meeting I found the value in being real; in being transparent. After I spoke I had women coming up hugging me, crying and thanking me for sharing! They didn't reject me instead the embraced me on a deeper level than they ever had!
Why? Because we ALL struggle. When we have the courage to be real it doesn't turn other's away from us it actually draws them in. People are longing to know that they aren't the only ones struggling. They need to know that someone else can relate.
I've seen that when I have the courage to open up and share my otherwise hidden sins and struggles the people I'm with automatically start opening up and sharing their struggles and hurts. Why? They feel safe. They know I am just as human as them and I am not going to look at them as weak because they show their humanity.
One interesting thought in closing...
Another definition for transparent is: transmitting light
When we share our struggles and how the Lord has brought us through them and what He has taught us, we are transmitting light! We are bringing Him glory by showing we are weak and helpless without Him.
Be real. Be authentic. Be transparent!
Blessings,
Momma Jo
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Wonderful post....I will be praying for the ability to do this myself. I am the same way...always trying to seem like I have things together so that I don't have to share my struggles with others. I grew up quite the "perfectionist" and lately God has exposed to me that "you're just not good enough" is a lie that I tell myself constantly. As women I think we often take on more than we should because we feel that if we don't someone will be let down by it...and we don't want people to know that we can't add another log to the fire, so to speak. Hiding one's feelings is always said to be a man's problem, but women are the same way, IMO. As Christians it seems like people think that because we have faith we will not become overwhelmed, upset, sad, frustrated...this stigma comes about. It's like we're not supposed to be human! People forget that we can be absolutely overwhelmed and still be thankful and joyous to God in our trials and suffering. I think that Job is a great example of this- he didn't try to pretend like he wasn't suffering but was still able to praise God despite it.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, sorry to ramble...your post just really got me thinking about the expectations put on a person of faith. You always make me think!