What legalism is NOT

I recently came across the blog of Avily Jerome and was so blessed by it!
The following is part of a post she did that I especially appreciated (You can read the entire post HERE). I asked her for permission to quote her and thank her for allowing me to do so. I find the following to be so true and so well said. When God started stirring in my heart to change my standard of dress to be something much more modest/conservative and completely feminine I knew there would be many that would cross my path that (not knowing my heart & understanding the conviction behind the changes) would likely label me as legalistic. Also, when I was on my headcovering journey it became blatantly obvious that people fear what makes them uncomfortable... people are quick to think something is legalistic if God has not stirred in their heart on the matter. I greatly appreciated and could relate to what Avily was saying in the following:

"Too often, I believe, an emphasis on grace swallows any attempt to grow spiritually. Any suggestion that a particular behavior might be wrong is met with a cry of legalism. Any attempt to live a holy life is scorned with accusations of being “holier-than-thou” and of trying to earn salvation when salvation is free.

A sermon I heard several years ago touched on the concept of setting up “fences.” You put up fences in your life around the areas in which you are weak. For example, if you struggle with alcoholism, you don’t walk past a bar. If you struggle with laziness, you get rid of your TV. And God may call you to put up fences in other areas of your life. This is NOT legalism. Legalism is when you try to impose your fences on someone else.

Many times, if what someone is doing makes us uncomfortable, we brand that person as a legalist and spout off about how their heart is in the wrong place, when we should be examining our own hearts for the source of our discomfort, because that is the nudging of the Holy Spirit in our lives, confronting us about our own sin. We cry that we are under grace, and refuse to accept that there may be things in our lives that need to change.

“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid! How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?” (Romans 6:1-2)

If we stop after grace, we are disobeying, and that is as much a sin as the sin of legalism. “Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.” (James 2:17)

All through the New Testament we are commanded to work toward becoming more like Christ, to grow in holiness, and to “run the race before us.” (Hebrews 12)"